Blasslila
by Ryuko Ishida
Summary: For three years, they had lost contact. She thought time will wash away the confusing emotion. He regrets what he did three years ago. She has never left his mind her lavender irises, always haunting him at the back of his mind... RyoxRika
1. Memory Lavender

**Blasslila **

**-a fan fiction written by Meeko Melodie**

Meeko: Hey people! I'm back with another Ryo/Rika story! Yay! And this will be a Christmas fiction too! Double yay! Hopefully, this will be good; and if anyone is wondering what the title "Blasslila" means, it's actually German for "Lavender". Well, enough of my yapping, time for chapter one!

DISCLAIMER: Nope. I don't own a thing in Digimon. None what so ever.

Summary: For three years, they had lost contact. She thought time will wash away the confusing emotion; he regrets what he did three years ago. She has never left his mind; her lavender irises, always haunting him at the back of his mind... Now, three years later, one nightly encounter brought them together again. What will become of them? RikaXRyo

* * *

**Chapter One: Memory Lavender **

"Hey, Akiyama, what did you think of the test back there?" his friend caught up with the proceeding elder teenager. He shrugged carelessly, not really caring about the test one bit. Not that he didn't care about it before; it was just why should you think about such sober things right after you got out of said 'sober thing'? That was Ryo Akiyama's theory anyway. Seldom people shared similar philosophies as he did; 'that was probably why the number of students becoming depressed increased,' he thought in slight amusement.

"Where're you going right now?"

"Got to get to work," he replied, already walking towards his means of transportation – the public bus. His friend waved goodbye and strode off to the opposite way; Ryo watched as his back disappeared in the distance, then he left as well, walking right past the bus stop without hesitation.

'The weather is too good not to take a walk,' he decided and continued his way under the late afternoon sun of autumn.

He started his first taste of university life two months ago, and was quickly used to the rushing timetable between schoolwork, exams, and his part-time job in a bar in downtown Shinjuku. Ryo decided it wasn't too stressful for the first term, as many of his older friends had informed him, or maybe they just had different views of the levels of stress all together. Ryo Akiyama wasn't your average study buddy one could find randomly on a street; after all, he was the tough, kick-ass Legendary Tamer. Not that the title mattered much in his school transcript.

Walking steadily on the deserted sidewalk, he listened faintly to the crisp crunch that he made whenever he stepped on a dry, dying leaf; its being flaked into small pieces with the contact and later got carried off by the flying wind. Those yellowing leaves all around him waltzed in the moving air as soon as a strong gust of bitter breeze started; only a few stubborn ones managed to hang on limply to the balding branches.

He breathed in the sharp, cold air and it almost got caught in his throat.

Still striding, Ryo suddenly took note of a patch of bright color within the dying brownness. He rushed towards the source and stopped short when he knew what it was.

At once, he cursed himself for being so damn curious; he cursed that damn, sneaky emotion beneath. But too late, the memory triggered by the image from his betraying mind would not leave him at peace. At least, not for a long while.

That color Ryo saw was a pale violet: a few stems of wobbling lavender. A majority of the tiny flowers had already withered away; in fact, Ryo was surprised that there were still a few brilliantly lush flowers survived. He knelt down and reached out with one hand, gently stroking the soft pedals with his forefinger.

However, he snatched back in alarm as the few living flowers had fallen, under the touch of his fingers. He witnessed, with a hint of misery, as the rain of pedal swirled toward an unknown destination.

Ryo sighed with desperation, and closed his eyes.

x – X – x

_The wind of early summer should bring some type of coolness to the citizens; the fact was: the air was hotter than ever, wind or no wind. And when the suffocating weather was present, it made mothers even more impatient than usual, or just generally any persons with temper. _

_That list of people could go on and on, but you wouldn't miss the name hat was just born to be on the sheet, and that was Rika Nonaka. _

_Apparently, the sixteen-year-old, happy-go-lucky teenager either didn't know of the list's existence, or choose to risk his precious life over it. Whichever it was, the fact did not stop Ryo Akiyama from calling the said girl during one of those annoyingly hot summer days. _

_He turned up at the meeting place a bit early, which was fine by him because as much as Ryo told himself umpteen times in his head, he was still damn nervous about the whole thing. _

_Sure, he might have numerous of experiences before in the boy-girl relationship department, first hand, but he never needed to lift up his finger or put in any effort on his account; literally translating, he meant that he had never confessed to a girl before. At all. _

_Hey now, don't laugh. Just because a guy had experience in this department didn't mean he had to have super skills at the subject of love confession. And Ryo Akiyama was the perfect example for that. _

_In his head, he kept running through the possible appropriate ways of telling Rika the truth, but they all sounded wrong in there. Guess he would just have to wing it at the last minute, huh? _

_That 'last minute' seemed to approach more quickly than Ryo had intended as he saw a figure with long, bright, fox scarlet hair nearing. _

"_Hey Wildcat," he greeted her casually. The violet orbs that he grew so fond of glared stoutly at him as Rika said in her usual sardonic tone, "what do you want, Akiyama? And stop calling me that!" Ryo just loved seeing her get pissed off at him like current situation; don't even start to ask why. _

"_Calling you what?" he never gave up a chance to tease the flame-haired girl once in a while. _

"_You know what it is," she rolled her eyes hopelessly. He chuckled; her glare hardened even more. _

"_Sorry, Wildcat, but I really don't know what you're talking about," he smirked. Rika glared some more, but seized the action after one minute, fully aware that she could never beat him. Besides, glaring too often was bad for your eyes. _

"_So, what is it, Akiyama?" she chose to ignore the nickname instead, leaning nonchalantly against the nearest tree trunk, "I don't have all day long, you know?" She waited, playing with the wool string of her hooded sleeveless sweater. _

_Ryo knew this question would come soon after their little bicker; Rika Nonaka was a very straight-forward teenager. _

_Well, so was he. _

"_Rika," he stepped forward, his voice was deep and laced with seriousness all of a sudden; even Rika could tell the considerable change of atmosphere. She looked up and met her cerulean irises; he sustained that steady gaze. _

"_I think I'm in love with you." There you go. Short and sweet. _

'_Or not,' he changed his mind. Ryo saw Rika's purple eyes, first blinking blankly, than a shock took place, shortly replaced by a nameless expression that Ryo couldn't really decipher. _

"_Ryo Akiyama," she started slowly, "did you just tell me that you're in love with me?" _

"_I think," he felt the need to add that two words, for some reason. _

"_You think," she repeated, somewhat blandly. _

"_Wow, Akiyama. I got to say, I'm impressed," she was saying this but a dangerous glint flashing warningly in her eyes, "tell me, is there a camera recording all this? Or maybe there's a hiding crowd in the bushes behind me waiting for me to believe all your bullshit?" _

"_Damn it!" he could not stand it any longer. Why couldn't she understand what he's trying to admit? Did she not trust him? Or did she think he was just doing all this to play a sick joke? Frustration was calling out to him, claiming his body as its own and he was trying hard to gain back his rightful control of his inner emotions, "Rika, this is not bullshit!" _

_With another step, he was right in front of her with a few dangerous inches in between their faces; his hauntingly bright eyes leveled with her pale lavender ones and his hands were on either side of her head, trapping the girl in between._

_To say Rika was shock at Ryo's reaction to her words was definitely an understatement. She had never ever seen this side of Ryo Akiyama before and as much as she hated to admit it, she was scared shitless before this stranger. _

"_This is the truth, Rika," he told her softly, his voice a deep, enchanting timbre and warm, labored breathes ruffling her locks, "the fucking truth." It was almost as if Ryo had become another person. _

_The stranger lowered his head, and placed his lips on hers; her eyes widened. _

* * *

Meeko: I hope this is a satisfying introduction to my story. Tell me what you think about it through your comments, okay? Thanks. 


	2. Conscience Lavender

**Blasslila **

**-a fan fiction written by Meeko Melodie**

Meeko: Wow! 8 reviews! That is friggin awesome! Thanks for all the comments! Now let's go to chapter two, shall we?

DISCLAIMER: Just no. Do not own Digimon. Yes.

* * *

**Chapter Two: Conscience Lavender **

'How did I lost control like that?' even now, after three years from that painful day, Ryo still asked himself the same question over and over again. He could blame no one but himself for the result of his sudden outburst – the result of loosing her. Her warmth had slipped through his fingers like fine sand. If it wasn't for his stupidity, there was a good chance that she might still be around, maybe not as how he had hoped, that might be too much to ask for, but the simple fact of her presence satisfied him all the same.

But because of what he did all those years back, just one mistake...

x – X – x

_The urge was stronger than ever. However, no matter how fierce the force was, Ryo would never dream of hurting his wildcat in any way. He didn't know what was driving him at the moment; it could be his teenage raving hormones, or it could just be his inner desire. Whatever it was, he unconsciously, almost dazedly, leaned in, softly touching his lips to her slightly quivering ones. _

_For a long moment, he could feel her stiffness, still shock from the contact while he drew back, silently praying to God that she would forgive him, give him a chance, accept him, not push him away. _

_God didn't seem to be listening though. _

_Rika pushed him off roughly with the remaining strength she was still able to call upon and numbly caressed her lips with her finger. Her eyes shadowed upon realization. _

_As expressionless as ever, Rika stepped away from the tree, away from him; he could not deny the squeezing pain of his inside taking place at her reaction. _

"_What did you do that for?" although her voice was calm, Ryo couldn't say the same for her eyes; they were the color of a dark, violent purple right before a raging storm, ready to strike in any minute soon. He gulped uneasily. _

"_I..."_

"_You know what, Akiyama?" she interrupted him, staring right into his bright sea-hued eyes and anger bubbling to conceal her true emotions further inside, "something tells me I should be kicking your ass badly right about now."_

"_You wouldn't," he decided, but his words didn't sound that convincing even to himself. _

"_Wouldn't I?" _

_Silently, with only birds' chatters and hissing leaves as the background, Ryo timidly reached out. She shrunk away from his touch, backing quickly off to the side with her eerily calm eyes still staring with a kind of disbelief. Before Ryo could open his mouth, she had already taken off, her red highlights flowing behind her like a trail of angry flames. _

_Rooted to the ground, Ryo could only watch as her figure disappeared gradually into the crowds of the sidewalk. He sighed despite the fact that he was still alive and well after, somewhat forcefully on his part, kissing Rika Nonaka. He dropped to the earth on his knees and punched the rough soil with his fist; dry dirt scratched and left a few think traces of bloody lines. _

"_Damn it! Why the hell did I do that for?" he screamed his thoughts, "and now I've messed it up, big time!" No one had ever witnessed the Legendary Tamer mentally torturing himself with these questions. And if you told people that you had, especially to his mob of fan girls, they would probably chase you down with their torches and other attainable, possible murder objects, and not believed a word you said. _

_But this was the reality we were talking about here. _

_x – X – x_

_She needed to get away from him, fast. Rika ran like she had never run before in her life while bumping blindly into people and not really caring at this particular moment. She took no heed as to where her destination might be and once again, she didn't give a crap. People around her were either staring at this strangely-behaving teenager or just voiced out their opinion in rushed whispers but one thing they didn't know was that they had no idea who they were murmuring about. _

_And they should be thankful for that. _

'_Why won't they mind their own business?' she thought angrily as she stormed past these said pedestrians. Unable to stand it a second longer for fear she would go insane and started resolve to violence, she hastily stepped into a bus, not even bothering where the hell this bus would be bringing her to. That was the least of her problem, right now. _

_Somewhat relieved by the muffed silence, Rika breathed in more easily as she had been seconds ago and walked towards the back of the bus until she reached the last row of seats. As if she was doing this out of a habit when really, she barely rode the bus given any day she looked casually out through the back window. _

'_He didn't even chase me down,' she told herself firmly, making sure her inner self deadly understood the situation. She sat on the blue, not-too-comfortable plastic seat, and drew her legs up, hugging her knees to her chest. It was a difficult task, given the fact that these seats were not particularly big, but she managed. Strangely, this position gave Rika the most comfort; she buried her head in her arms, her fiery locks tumbled over her shoulders with the action. _

'_This way,' she heard the young voice of herself spoke so many years ago, 'nothing would be able to hurt me, not even when the sky is falling.' A syllable of bitter laugh escaped from her throat; this encouraged her to laugh even more. Well, scorn would be more like it. It was all a blur in Rika's head as she heard the unfamiliar laughter streaming out from her mouth, muffled by her arms. _

_It sounded so cold, so hollow and empty that even Rika was surprised that she was the source of that horrible sound. She seized it at once, hands clasping her ears. The bus jerked forward. _

'_What is wrong with me?' she wanted to know, squeezing her eyes tight. _

'_I'm feeling this way, feeling like shit, because of him,' Rika couldn't quite believe what she was trying to achieve through this self talk. Right now, only one name reined her aching mind, 'Ryo Akiyama. What have you done to me?' Haunting visions of his mesmerizing sky blue orbs, his infamous grins and his voice, his deep, velvet voice that caught her heart off guard every time she less expected it now claimed her brain. Oh, how she wished she could just tear away these images like loose-leave papers and discard them in a garbage can. Then, her life might be a bit easier than this. _

'_Rika Nonaka, stop this right now!' she ordered herself, 'it's no use thinking these stupid thoughts. It's not going to help me.' Her brain seemed to obey the inner voice and instantly shut off the useless thoughts. The bus stopped again, and a few teenagers stepped in triumphantly as if they owned it; Rika didn't even notice, let alone care. _

_Once again raising her head from her arms, she opened her emotionless violet orbs with all of her struggling feelings bounded tightly within herself. Torpidly, she traced her lower lip hesitantly with the tip of her finger, skin crawling as she unwillingly relieved that kiss in her mind. _

'_Ryo Akiyama kissed me...' And she had liked it? _

'_Snap out of it!' she shouted into her head in alarm. _

'_I _do not_ like Akiyama. I do not like him!' she kept repeating this in her mind like a chant, 'I can't fall in love with Akiyama. Shit! What am I saying? I'm _not _in love with that son of a bitch who just took advantage of me! That bastard... I hate him. I hate Ryo Akiyama!' That was what she had decided; denied would be a better word for it. But did it matter? _

_Either way, Rika was not going to let anyone, including herself, be fooled again. Or was she fooling herself? Why did these questions kept coming up at a time like this? _

"_Damn it," she muttered quietly, her fingers rubbing her sore temples. _

'_Give it up already, Nonaka,' a slightly amused voice told her, and she froze. But a short second later, she was in an annoyed mode again, annoyed that her conscience just had to wake up at the very moment when she really didn't fell up to it. _

_Well, when was she ever up to talking to herself anyways? Basically, the answer would be 'never'. Because in Rika's encyclopedia, only nut cases would talk to themselves, or their consciences, or alter egos, or was that... 'Oh, who gives a shit?' and that solved the problem. _

'_What is this?' Rika's pissed side voiced out her suspicion, apparently ticked off by the easiness of the other half part of herself. She didn't really want to go on with this; it all seemed so... well, weird, talking to yourself like that. That would probably be like talking to your reflection of the mirror or something. _

_Okay, getting back on topic here._

'_You know damn well what I'm talking about,' she said, 'or are you really that dense? That would really explain...' _

'_Shut the hell up,' she charged. Lately, this... conscience of hers kept popping up for a visit every time... well, every time her thoughts revolved around _him_, which was whenever, wherever (_Hey, isn't that a song? 'Whenever, wherever'?) _. So, there she was, sitting at the back of the bus, her eyes a blank, glazed violet while she was having the battle of her life inside her head. This was just plain scary. _

'_Just face the truth,' she was being demanded. _

_The truth. _

_This word echoed invisibly in her ringing ears; his breathy tone, the passion, the pain of disappointment all winded up and spiraled into this stranger's voice. _

"This is the truth, Rika," _it was all happening in her head again, _"the fucking truth."

_She shivered without much noticing as if she felt his hot breathes exhaling, warming her tingling skin. But that was impossible. Her conscience was muted once more, leaving Rika alone to cope with her miserable thoughts. Well, that was just fine with her. _

_Who did she need anyway?_

'_Nobody. I don't need anyone.' _

* * *

Meeko: Yes, long and boring, I know. It'll get better, I promise! But I can't promise fluff in the future 2-3 chapters though, so bear with me! Your comments! Thanks! 


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